I'll try. (Keep me accountable)

I'm just gonna randomly type out things just for the sake of filling up the void which are overdue blog assignments.

Here's a reality check:
1. SPM examinations are in approximately 6 months
2. Trials are in 4
3. For the first time, in a school exam, I'm actually gonna get a grade lower than an A for English, due to the beloved English teacher's marking scheme which include blog assignments and written work-- of which I've failed to maintain...
4. The rest of my grades are still playing average to below average
5. I still suck at self-management
6. I still suck at time management
7. I'm still trying to get rid of porn addiction
8. I'm fighting myself
9. Still trying to set my priorities straight.
10. Trying to get myself to actually practice what I preach.


   Here are some things about myself: firstly, like we all are, I am lost. I don't know what the future holds. I'm still not sure of my ambition. Also, I tend to picture myself alone sometimes, with no friends; I mean, hey. People do come and go...right? Even my parents won't be around anymore to nag and lecture me, what more my brother and sister? I am on my own, even from here on, trying to figure myself out.

  I try to take my faith seriously; I am a Christian...but what the heck am I doing? I am no better than any other sinner out there (God forgive me). I kinda hate myself for this. If I am supposed to live in the light, why do I still hide in darkness? "Christians are hypocrites". Of course we all are because we are human like you! But I don't get it. I'm supposed to be different. I'm supposed to change. I am nothing more than just mere sinful flesh.

     I'll just try to start over again, I suppose...

I need to know the balance between silence and sound.
My mind is all over the place; I am like the sea being tossed and turned by the waves of the wind.
I talk too much; it shows how foolish I am.

Give me wisdom
Give me

peace.

I'll try again.
I'll just

try.